| Ich bin... |
| [Tana]. Child of God. Teacher. Youth leader. Music-minded. Blessed.
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| Ich liebe... |
[Jesus]. My Family. My Church. P & W. Mission Trips. Music. Prayer. Traveling. Writing. Drama. Sunshine. Languages. Photography. Badminton. Nature. Snail Mail. Fruit. Green. Simplicity. Listening.
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| 31 December 2003 |
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more and more, i find myself becoming like the shy little puppy from the story i read as a child. i don't think it's correlated to increasing days on this planet, it's more that i despise more than soak in crowds. there is a certain satisfaction arising from knowing my dialogue with a dear soul has eternally impacted him or her that cannot be matched regardless of how many people i become acquainted with. indeed, for me popularity is NOT the be-all and end-all of everything. i find it hilarious, then, when people claim me to be something i'm not - i can't explain clusters, i just know my life has been greatly enriched by all those who have passed through and left priceless imprints. indeed it's those who don't claim to understand that actually do, while those who assume they know it all really haven't a clue. where AM i going with this...
wow, another year gone in only a matter of hours, and as soon as i'm done rambling here, i'll join with the 'masses' to ring in three hundred and sixty some more days of life. thank God for meaning. if it were routine only, i think i would have gone mad years ago. naturally, like most people, i haven't the slightest notion what path(s) i'll embark on, nor the options available, but i'm comforted because He knows. i anticipate self-induced flaws, but also new possibility and growth. it's not so much INTROspective as it is FAITH....and who knows? perhaps 2004 will finally be when He helps me conquer the beast!
HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE!
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posted by simplejoys @ 19:02
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| 29 December 2003 |
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busy weekend, no surprise there.
the girlies from church came over on saturday for our post-Christmas gathering, bringing orlie news, chocolate wrapper-smelling obsessions, and yummy treats. thanks for filling my house with laughter for the evening. we missed cat, denise, lil, linda, lisa, maria and natasha, though.
yesterday afternoon it was off to city north again, this time with other southsiders in tow. good times with all who showed up. remember, logic highlights what's impossible, but faith highlights what isn't.
talked to auntie chris for what's probably the first time in at least five years. wow, i really need to head over to sydney sometime soon, before both biew dais have moved elsewhere to work.
please help me to accept that i don't want it any other way, but with You.
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posted by simplejoys @ 10:00
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| 26 December 2003 |
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this Christmas has been uniquely quiet for me, what with mom departing a few weeks previous and dad leaving for winter conference yesterday evening. nonetheless, i was given ample opportunity to reflect on His birth and how it has forever changed human history, and of course, the surprise long-distance phone call from my BFF made it that much more joyful (btw, kerry and cherry, she loved both the duck and the card!).
special thanks to all those who have given of themselves through e-cards, cards, gifts and well wishes. i treasure it all, especially the day with my WT <- look forward to more in the year ahead! hot topic, you say? ^^ and you gotta love old school nintendo!
no push-and-shove shopping today (it's all being taken care of in HK); instead i watched "willy wonka and the chocolate factory" for the first time ever, and it brought back memories of spending hours reading and rereading this classic children's tale. the lesson? greed never pays, but simplicity does! (poor veruca, violet, mike, and augustus...)
CONGRATS, QUENTIN and JULIE!! may you come to know Him through your new journey together.
nick, thanks for all your care and prayers. enjoy urbana - it's going to be awesome!!
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posted by simplejoys @ 16:37
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| 24 December 2003 |
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mom called yesterday, which was nice because we haven't talked since wednesday. just 2nd kou fu and his family are sharing grandma and grandpa's house with her so far. it's hard to imagine that it's been ten years since i last saw hil, sly, and raph. three days till quentin's big day.
maria, what a wonderful surprise your card was! we'll have to meet up soon - can't believe it's been 2 years! the mail confusion didn't cause delay ^_^ are you still an RA at BMC? (and did i tell you that a family acquaintance used to minister there?) merry Christmas to you and your family, and thanks for KIT!
i encountered this in yesterday's comics (click on image to enlarge and read):
Christmas through a child's eyes - minus the gifting element, isn't it sweet how the essence of Whose day it is has been captured?
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE!!
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posted by simplejoys @ 08:26
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| 22 December 2003 |
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last night was the second pre-Christmas gathering in a row, and equally special :) went over to the siu's to join their small group celebration. there were preschool cuties left and right, which made for quite the babysitting adventure and much to laugh about. cherry, oi yee and jack were also there. it was challenging to supervise annika, who's gone from medium creeper to quick jogger / cabinet explorer ^_^ it was my first time to play with michelle extensively, and as expected, she was cuter than ever (as was ethan, looking 'lost' on the couch). and as always, the affection from yoyo and carina was greatly welcomed. william, hope you feel better soon!
at first i thought i had to spend an entire day doing evaluations at work, but we wrapped up the session within two hours. have one more tomorrow, which will probably be more lengthy, but it'll take half a day, max.
pictures from cherry's baptism can be viewed by clicking here
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posted by simplejoys @ 12:19
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| 21 December 2003 |
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just spending a few quick moments to recap events from the weekend:
friday
joint fellowship at ben and kinny's, where the "non-actors" spent many minutes investigating two scary nutcrackers, a reindeer princess and dorian's tiny camera. kudos to the chu brothers for their hard work on the script for our group! also found out that NOT putting up the Christmas tree isn't so abnormal after all... ^_^
saturday
the top highlight was definitely listening to cherry share her testimony and also watch her get baptised...CONGRATULATIONS!!!! the story of how He moved in and changed your life is truly proof of Living Water.
the baptismal service also included another testimony, and small group, children, and youth presentations, and was immediately followed by dinner, games and fellowship. it was neat how there were so many new faces (or maybe just unfamiliar to ME) because it indicates growth, and even neater when i actually met some of them. who can ever forget the "spotted chairs" and tableless seating?!? lots of laughs, especially when PR tried to blend into the crowd by wearing gei gei's jacket...thanks, God above, for this wonderful church family!
also got to gab with ML for a bit afterwards (...nah, it wasn't MIDNIGHT, more like 11:30 --- pssst, if you DO read this, let me know!).
sunday / today
the day is far from over, but thus far there has already been a celebratory worship (enhanced by the seniors' sweet singing and big smiles!), hugs and candy canes galore, and a reminder to make Him the only shining star of Christmas - in the home, in the heart, in daily living.
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posted by simplejoys @ 16:18
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| 19 December 2003 |
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grandma is a riot – this morning, right as i was waking up, she calls to tell me that she’s just purchased a yellow jean jacket-type garment for me, and had gotten an amazing deal on it. plus, she was going to take it and get a quote from the drycleaners, and if it was too expensive, she’d hand clean it herself, then have mom bring it to me. banana or not, this should be an interesting sight, especially as aunt is convinced i’m going to hate it. well, we’ll see in a month or so, but it’s the thought that counts, right? ^_^ ori should reach HK pretty soon, too.
after talking with sharon jeh jeh, i have a clearer picture of how i should deal with the sudden stressor. As i learned two summers ago, the only person you can expect to change is yourself. i don’t anticipate an easy, carefree road ahead, but i know i wouldn’t be here if He hadn’t called me to this.
tomorrow’s our church’s Christmas celebration – can’t wait, especially for my sister’s baptism! i’m so proud of you for making this decision, and i know it will inspire others as well.
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posted by simplejoys @ 12:21
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| 18 December 2003 |
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oooh a day off finally (...holiday, really??) - this day was self-created more than anything else, since i just found out i have to go into the office for two full days of my initially scheduled vacation for evaluative purposes.
just spent about two hours taking the NT I final - no complications with server failure or anything like that, thank goodness.
i first heard and was impressed by the song "my will" by dc Talk a couple of years ago when i purchased the EXODUS cd. here is a reflection from the solid sounds website on this piece:
Have you heard this song by dc Talk? Have you read the lyrics?
Complexity haunts me for I am two men
Entrenched in a battle that I'll never win
My discipline fails me, my knowledge it fools me
Those three lines remind me of the words of Paul in Romans 7:15, 21-24 (NIV):
"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin….What a wretched man I am!"
These lines of scripture and "My Will" point clearly to the battle within all who follow Christ (and with amazingly graphic words-complexity, haunts, entrenched; war, prisoner, wretched). We are entrenched in a battle and we cannot, dare not, depend on our discipline, knowledge or rights to be victorious.
How does dc Talk finish this stanza?
Complexity haunts me for I am two men
Entrenched in a battle that I'll never win.
My discipline fails me, my knowledge it fools me
He concludes:
But You are my shelter, all the strength that I need.
Paul says it this way, "Thanks be to God-through Jesus Christ our Lord! The mind of sinful man is death but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace. You…are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you" Romans 7:25, 8:6, 9 (NIV).
Paul found and dc Talk sings:
I'm learning to give up the rights to myself
The bits and the pieces I've gathered as wealth
Could never compare to the joy that You bring me
The peace that You show me is the strength that I need.
We only win this struggle by giving up completely to God. I have to give up the rights to myself and just trust Christ, who lives in me, trust He loves me, He is working in my life, nothing comes to me that first does not pass through His hand.
And through His Spirit I have the peace and the strength to live a life pleasing to Him.
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posted by simplejoys @ 12:00
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| 17 December 2003 |
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feeling increasingly festive as Christmas draws near.
mom managed to catch all 3 of her flights (edmonton -> vancouver, vancouver -> hong kong, hong kong -> perth) with only the initial delay at the start, thankfully. that's a lot of traveling! i miss her already, but i know she has a big mission over the next month.
lisa got her package - i'm so excited for her! i hope you were surprised! we wanted to get you some more edibles, but we were worried they'd perish before they reached you. enjoy, and MERRY CHRISTMAS!
PA, thanks for the Christmas greeting. your son gets cuter each time i see him - is he attending school yet? come and visit us soon - we miss you lots!
still toying with the option of taking NT II or church growth in january. on one hand, i know it would be extremely interesting and the prof is wonderful, but i'm concerned that i wouldn't have adequate time to go through all the readings, make weekly postings, and take the quizzes and exams. i still have a few weeks to decide, though.
what am i living for, if i'm not living for You?
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posted by simplejoys @ 10:42
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| 16 December 2003 |
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we took mom to the airport this morning. you would figure that was that, but when i phoned home from work, dad told me her plane didn't even show up! a mechanical failure maybe? hopefully not...but definitely being grounded at home base is better than troubles in the air. anyhow, she managed to catch the next flight, and i'm eager to receive a call once she arrives in perth.
still have to do some mild studying before i take my NT I final. i don't anticipate anything stressful, as the course throughout its run has been a fairly straightforward, simple experience. it's irritating how some don't grasp the seriousness of full-time ministry study...but hey, it's my perceptions against theirs.
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posted by simplejoys @ 13:32
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| 14 December 2003 |
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another memorable day of worship :) as always, i loved seeing my church family, no matter how stressed out some might be with exams and such. and WELCOME HOME, LISA!! i probably sound like an oversent Christmas card, but it really does seem like the most wonderful time of the year.
sometimes i wonder where we'd be, though, had Christ's birth not materialized. there's no doubt that His coming changed human history - and i guess there would be no alternative, since time somehow follows His supreme plan in one form or another...yet such a monumental marker has been reduced to four styles of cards (to quote thad), last-minute, ostentatious splurging (both on self and others), and getting drunk on eggnog...HOW CAN WE TAKE OUR LIVES FOR GRANTED IN THAT WAY? we'd be nothing without Christ...and this year i intend to make that core to my being...
"Christ in me is to live / to die is to gain..."
praise Him for yet another enriching afternoon at city north mission. pretty much the entire group of youth that we've been ministering to over the past few months showed up, and i also had the chance to explain the Christmas story to someone who'd never heard about God before - witnessing is challenging, but i love it! and then jessica, darian and their mom came and enjoyed it, too, so a return looks likely :)
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posted by simplejoys @ 18:44
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| 13 December 2003 |
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it's ALL done! kind of sad that LGT is now over, just as we (my awesome volunteers/friends & i) were getting to know the kids. jessica and darian especially are cute beyond words...hopefully i'll see them at city north sometime, too. so, we spent the morning at odyssium, which was neat, as was bouncing around on the school bus on the way back...ah, good times :)
the past week has been absolutely INSANE with busyness at work, with one project finishing and the other two just barely starting. i love the st. al's group candace and i have been leading, and can't wait till we meet with them again. not so fond of the self-defense instructor we brought in yesterday, but i do appreciate the tips for escaping chokeholds and landing punches and kicks. as he told us, when you're in a dangerous situation, there really is no time to think, just react! ^_^
the bountiful nature of God's forgiveness really hit home yesterday. i had been putting off dealing with something for the longest time, but His one-time sacrifice is something i can now accept for THAT. thank you, Jesus!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GRACE! you're a sweetie whom i'm ever so blessed to have in my life. thanks for the fantastic phone convos and all your prayers and care! can't wait till we can chill again - which is definitely frequently during Christmas break!
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posted by simplejoys @ 15:19
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| 12 December 2003 |
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one more day, and LGT wraps up. i admit, i'll miss the kids, but it'll be nice to have more concentration with just two projects...everything is winding down, actually - NT 1 final on monday, and a major break from both tutoring and the office (thanks SO much for the latter, serena!). definitely looking forward to chillaxing with my gals and guys while they are on holiday, too.
as usual, last night's WTP was a blast. it's neat to see swirling ideas/dreams take flight...and actually work! thanks to AMM, CW and YG for seeing it thru and making it even better ^_^ the funniest episodes were the "piano music fight", furby provoking and the blank brain response. honestly, i'm really learning when incoherence kicks in. :p
thanks to NH and LS for further enriching my day!
please teach me to become less so that You can become more.
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posted by simplejoys @ 09:19
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| 10 December 2003 |
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i honestly despise being a spendthrift on myself. in a bit, though, i'll be heading out to staples to somehow use up all the money candace and i have left over from our project for materials and supplies. had to do this with sharon and my joint project, too, but the amount wasn't as hefty. well, at least these purchases will benefit the Centre, not just us.
mom's leaving for aus a week from yesterday - craziness. i'll miss her lots, but i'm so happy she has the chance to be with her siblings and parents at Christmas, for once. it's undoubtedly the opportunity of a lifetime, and i just pray she will be able to make an eternal difference. maybe one time i'll actually be able to travel during Christmas break, too, and see the famous HK holiday lightscape.
things are changing so quickly. i'm trying not to dwell on months too far into the future, so as to prevent worrying over nothing, but it's difficult. keeping busy helps, though. all i know for sure is i want to be where He wants me.
as i was reading through my sunday school lesson, i came across four profound truths, which i appreciate deeply:
1. God is loving
2. God is all-knowing
3. God is all-powerful - He provides for my every need
4. God is unchanging
having grown up in church and especially in recent years with increased study of His Word, it seems i'm quite familiar with these concepts...yet i was challenged to consider which of these truths i find it hardest to accept and why - while i know in my head that He is abundantly faithful in keeping promises and taking care of us, for some reason, that third truth really pulled at my mind. am i fully trusting that He knows exactly what i need, when i need it and will give it to me how He feels it will benefit me the most? for the most part, yes, but there are 'THOSE' areas...
God, please teach me to trust as I should.
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posted by simplejoys @ 08:14
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| 08 December 2003 |
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i think there is a slight flaw in the rules for this apparent 'game' - decisiveness is in order...and i thought it was done? so, why all this inconsistency again, every other week? you don't have to worry, I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME. gaaaaarrrrr, some people just need to grow up.
i don't want to be tied down by this. it's like we were discussing in sunday school yesterday, about how one party must make the attempt towards reconciliation, regardless of risk. i think MC & i understand each other on this topic better than anyone, since we are both intolerant of wishy-washiness, laziness and of course, those who lack integrity. i did my part, but why must you add to our impressions time and time again?
basically, PLEASE DON'T TELL ME IT'S OKAY WHEN IT SO OBVIOUSLY IS NOT.
Lord, please give me patience & wisdom for this.
............
office moving: complete! i love the extra space & my roommate, but already i miss jeff and of course, sharon, without whom i wouldn't have been given the amazing opportunity of the past few months.
hip hop & such: utterly thrilling! so, i went with candace for last week's second session of "it's all about respect", held at st. al's. i was so impressed by judith's message for the girls about goal setting - she definitely knows what she's talking about! naturally, then we also enjoyed two beautiful compositions afterwards :)
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posted by simplejoys @ 09:33
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| 03 December 2003 |
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i love december - the seemingly endless celebration of Christ's birth and all the birthdays in between. some mentionables:
hannah - it's been two & a half years since i saw you, but thanks for keeping in touch and all your prayers. have a blessed birthday & don't forget to share more about your "kiwi" adventures!
gilbert - can you believe we've known each other for nearly 10 years? wah, we're 'low la' ^^ i really do hope you can come visit soon - after all, you're only what, 3 hours away? it's great that you have job security for the moment. keep striving for the best & put Him first - then your possibilities are limitless!
immensely enjoying working alongside and learning from candace. i guess i have to refine *ahem* ACQUIRE some hip hop skills. the office moving is not something i'm looking forward to, though.
it's been so many years since i saw quentin - i wonder how his preparations are going? i wish i could be present at his big day, but i guess that wasn't meant to be. I PRAY YOU WILL SEEK & FIND GOD'S BEAUTY AND PEACE, BIEW GOH! oh, did i tell you that the car adaptor is quite useful after all? heh
THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE CHRISTMAS SURPRISE, LISA! i am abundantly blessed by our close friendship, and all the insights, laughs, tears and memories along the way. can't wait until you return, and we can build on this five-year "collection"! ^_^
as i mentioned last time, i sense that right now i'm being put through some refining process. in the moment it's brutal, but the long term results will outweigh the original state, if i earnestly seek out His will. i prayed for discomfort, so i guess this is it. ;)
i'm pressed but not crushed, persecuted not abandoned
struck down but not destroyed
i'm blessed beyond the curse, for His promise will endure
and His joy's gonna be my strength
though the sorrow may last for the night
His joy comes with the morning...
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posted by simplejoys @ 09:56
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| 01 December 2003 |
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it seems comfort is never a luxury i'm to soak in for too long. as soon as it seems everything is running smoothly, He catapults me into a more trying, less comfortable state. while i'm thankful for all the recent opportunities God has presented to me that have allowed for challenge and a broader view of life, the speed at which everything is happening is overwhelming and it's such a struggle to cope with it all. however, i trust His pace is best for keeping me on the move, and the joy resulting from learning these lessons lasts for a lifetime.
i am now directly being put to the test, to apply all the insights acquired from times of both celebration and trial. the walls are crumbling, and i sense He is trying to bring me to a point of utter brokenness, such that the only security i have is in Him, and He can replace my dreams and hopes with His. it hurts, but i know this must happen. it's not to say i'm losing everything, but much of what i've held on to, the pleasures that in the moment seemed to last forever, are drifting away...or perhaps being molded into something more realistic...? thankfully, God has also placed me within a network of loving brothers and sisters who may not entirely understand, but whose prayers sustain and remind me that His plan is best. i just need an eternal perspective.
yesterday in small group we were discussing holy living, and how it is only possible to achieve this when our expectations are aligned with His. i'm encouraged that He never views me with greater disfavor with each slipup, and it reminds me that personalities are not set in stone, but rather He is always the potter.
more on this later.
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posted by simplejoys @ 10:16
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